Toaster Condoms (Have I Got Your Attention?)


Every Celiac knows that while there are way more gluten-free products available to us now than ever, our bread still could be….more evolved. It’s expensive, and nowhere near as yummy as its glutenous counterparts. But the fact of the matter is that it’s the hand that we’re dealt, and unless it’s bread from some fancy-schmancy private bakery  that requires the remortgaging of your house to buy, it falls into the “needs to be heated” category.

When we’re in the safe-haven of our own kitchens, we can toast our bread with wild abandon, never worrying about cross-contaminated toasters or who toasted a piece of bread before us. Because it was us. Or people that live in our houses, and are safely under our gluten-free food-fascist regimes.

But sometimes we have to share a toaster. Like, at our friends’ or families’ houses, at hotels, conventions, meetings, etc. Whether someone was nice enough to provide gluten-free bread for us, or we brought our own, if those slices are raw, and we’re not frying’em, we gotta toast’em to make them edible. And we can’t cross-contaminate ourselves, because excusing yourself from your meeting, convention, and colleagues to spend hours in the bathroom is at best awkward. But….how are we supposed to do that in a communal toaster?

Toaster condoms to the rescue:

Ok, I am aware that they’re technically called “toaster bags”. And that whoever invented them was not trying to do Celiacs a solid, they were trying to make an invention that allowed regular people to make grilled cheese sandwiches in a toaster. (I guess that using a pan and getting that awesome fried-bread taste was not a consideration). But whatever. They are AMAZING for us, and allow us to share toasters to toast our bread like a normal person, only without the intestinal destruction from the contaminating crumbs of previous toasting peeps’ glutinous breads. And that’s a Martha Stewart “Good Thing”.

I carry them in my folio case, as they are flat, thin, take up absolutely no room whatsoever and are always available for me. Here’s me using them when I was enjoying the hospitality at the lovely home of my glutenous sister Elin, over at , where these little bags make my life so much better:

All I had to do was insert my bread into the bags, depress the lever, and bam! Perfectly toasted bread, perfectly safe.

I got my Toaster Condoms (aka Bags) on Amazon for about $12 for five. Apparently, they’re good for like 100 toastings. They’re made of this weird plasticky material, but it doesn’t melt under toasting temps or transfer any plasticky odor or flavor to the bread. And best of all?

You get toast. Safely. No matter where you are.  So don’t risk glutening from unprotected bread:  wrap it up! No bread glove, no toaster love…


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